I’m a multi-sport athlete, and this is how I’m managing through quarantine

How the global shutdown is affecting high school athletes

It was a typical Wednesday afternoon in March, and I had just finished my workout in my school’s weight room minutes ago. I walked down the three flights of stairs to the parking lot, daydreaming of the drills coach would run the next day.

Off-season excited me. My month old sprained ankle was healed enough for me to return to the mats and my body ached for the challenging opportunities wrestling gave me.

“Oh hey!” I looked up to see Molly, a fellow percussionist, walking up the stairs. “Where did you come from?”

“I just finished my workout. What about you?” I asked her.

“Drum club just ended,” she told me. “We miss you!”

My heart slouched. Drum club was another activity I prioritized my fitness over, but missing the chance to spend time with my drummer family was disheartening nonetheless.

“I miss you guys too, I’ll see you in Percussion Ensemble on Friday though!” I told her.

“The superintendent is closing down schools until Monday, a whole five days until I see everyone again!” She wailed.

Coronavirus had been a hot topic around the school for about a week, and although many other schools around the state had already closed, it still surprised me that school was canceled over some foreign virus.

The following Saturday, my mom announced that school was transitioning to online coursework until at least April 28th. Two weeks later, the district stated that the rest of the school year would be completed via virtual distance learning.

The first thing I thought about was wrestling. I wouldn’t get to wrestle for the next seven months. Gyms were closed. School tracks were closed. Everything was closed. No weightlifting. No more timed miles. My parents like to say that right now, life is on hold.

The first few weeks were horrible. I completed hundreds of sets of pushups in my room. I ran across town, from one side of the island to the other multiple times. Terrified of losing the thousands of hours I put into pushing my physical limits, I became obsessive.

Then I quit everything. Even though I was making do with what I had, knowing my deadlift and bench press were going to be lower whenever the next time I would be able to re-max, I gave up.

My coach would send out emails with a weekly challenge.

Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. This week’s challenge: 2000 pushups, 800 burpees, run 14 miles. Email me with your results, and live like a champion!

I dreaded his weekly email, knowing all of my teammates were pushing themselves to get stronger while I couldn’t get out of my head for long enough to knock out three sets of 50 pushups.

“Why are you comparing yourself?” My nutritionist asked me, one week during our bi-weekly session after I poured out my sorrows through a zoom meeting.

Because it makes me better, I wanted to say. It motivates me to push myself even harder.

Without my muscle, who am I? What can I be proud of? Any girl can join the volleyball team, or go out for Model UN, but I have muscle. Physically, I am in the top 95% for girls my age. Not every girl you know can do pull-ups.

I went through something similar my freshman year. I built up a lot of muscle during the school year, stopped working out over the summer, hit the weight room my sophomore year, and gained it back.

Gained it back.

I gained it all back, and built more. Out of the blue, this realization hit me and reminded me of how easy it was to regain the strength I had before.

I’ve built enough muscle to where pushups aren’t challenging anymore. Any given day, I can complete a solid set of 20 pushups. Adding pushups is the hard part.

The initial muscle I built to be able to complete the moves remains. I’m simply losing the fine-tuning.

Same with pullups. And deadlifts. And bench presses.

Like my mother said, everything is just on pause. I started running again. Some days I sprint the driveway. Other days, I run the island.

I look forward to the emails from my coach, and I usually choose one aspect of the challenges to focus on for the week.

My newest project is a work in progress which I’ve decided to title Operation Gratitude, a few handwritten letters every week to the people in my life who don’t receive enough credit.

I’m spending less time focusing on my exercise and more time connecting with myself through my diet. This is a struggle, but something I am trying to come to terms with, reminding myself daily that quarantine is temporary.