Online Edition: The Art of Not Caring What Others Think

Learning how to embrace my differences as a teenager with an online presence

I like to write on Quora, but sometimes I get really nasty comments under my answers. For instance, one day I opened up about being adopted and some of the hardships my family has faced due to it.

I went through the collapsed comments and found someone who had commented, “Why do Americans adopt from other countries.”

For a minute, I was crushed. I worked hard writing that answer and had put myself out there by writing about a topic that made me vulnerable, yet I somehow got shit on for it.

Another time, I decided to post about my Quora on Instagram. I linked it on my profile and had a curated post featuring my current stats at the time and certain parts of my bio.

My ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend took it upon herself to deep search my profile and ended up finding things written about my ex, her current boyfriend, that didn’t paint him in the best light.

She ended up texting him about it, and instead of coming to me about it like a mature adult, he decided to screenshot it and had his parents take it to my parents.

(Then he wonders why I don’t paint him in a good light… Back to the main point.)

Multiple times have I been criticized for writing the way I do, and the criticism continues to grow as I gain more recognition.

I don’t have a choice who sees my content and by clicking the “submit” button, I am not only acknowledging that my work is now out on the public web for the world to do what they want with it, I also am not allowed to object against those who feel invited to morally critique my experiences.

Writing on Quora is sort of like sex, but in another way, it isn’t at all.

I can be dressed in a miniskirt and lingerie bra but if I have not consented to sex, it is rape. The argument that I shouldn’t have been dressed a certain way is invalid when sex is an act of mutual consent.

By posting what I write, I am consenting to criticisms of all sorts. I’m not able to control how I make people feel when they read my content. There are times where I am trying to invoke a particular response out of a reader, but if you feel differently, that isn’t your or my fault.

I’m much more comfortable with the internet than my parents or say, my grandmother who does happen to read what I post, since I grew up around it, but it’s important that I still recognize that the internet can be a dangerous place.

Occasionally my grandmother will call me up and question me about something I’ve written, and although I may not agree with it, by putting what I choose out there, it would be wrong of me to get mad at her for having her own opinion.

I’m no pop Quoran, but having my content interacted with on a very frequent basis has given me a teensy glimpse of what celebrities go through.

Their music is loved. Their music is hated. Their lifestyle is to die for. Their lifestyle is controversial. They are inspiring. They are crazy and psychotic. Every celebrity has fans and critiques on both sides of the pendulum, and by putting myself out there, so do I.

I’m too young to be writing about my personal experiences.

I’m too personal by writing about my personal experiences.

I show too much skin in some of my answers.

I need to cite better sources in my political answers.

I should do this. I shouldn’t do that.

Everybody feels entitled to their own opinions.

The hardest lesson for me to grasp is that I’m not allowed to argue with the people who don’t like my content.

I like to think I put a lot of work into my answers and it’s not that I’m sensitive to criticism, it’s that even though I share very personal experiences on here, you still only see a snapshot of who I am as a person.

Yet you are still allowed to hate me.

And I’m not entitled to do a damn thing about it.